She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
