Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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