Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
