who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
