ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
