i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So vagazzling was a success
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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