I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
