Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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