It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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