i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
