You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
