she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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