been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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