butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
MIDGETS
????
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
