problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They have beer where we have blood.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
