Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
