OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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