how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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