just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
