I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
