i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
