yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
