Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
