What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.