wanna go halves on a baby?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
