I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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