Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
