alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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