I wish I could teleport
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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