i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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