OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He did a backflip because drugs
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