I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
