ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
