i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
