I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they're like a gay fantastic four
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
