she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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