I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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