I want to make a zoo with you.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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