bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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