My first STD was from a foam party
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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