Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize