I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
