i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
