I bet he comes in French.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
