I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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