I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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