She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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