I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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