How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize