How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
