his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
