A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
