hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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