I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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