walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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