U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
