I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog