Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work