Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.