i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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