he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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