I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
