Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
