i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
