all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
