He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
