Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
